We take care of family, friends, work, our spouses and our pets. But far too few of us take the time and consideration to take care of the one person who keeps it all going - ourselves. Treating yourself well is not a luxury, it's an important and necessary step in maintaining the stability of mind and mood that makes taking care of all your loved ones possible. Here are some ways you can help yourself help others:

1. If your clothes don't fit, your couch sags and your hairstyle is shaggy and dated, then no matter how competent, how ready and how willing you are to throw your heart and soul into something, you're likely to fizzle out before you even get going. Now, this is not to say that the possessions make the person - not by a long stretch. But self-respect requires self-care. Don't fall into the "golden toilet" greed-and-speed lifestyle, but do take care to see that your clothes fit you, inside and out, that your health and wealth are in good hands and that the trappings of your life aren't trapping you in depression, frustration and ennui. Take what you need from life - it's okay, there's plenty to go around - so that when called upon, you can give your all to those around you in full measure and with a glad heart.

2. Give up trying to make yourself perfect. It's not working, it's impossible and if God wanted you perfect, S/He would have made you that way to begin with. Understand that your flaws, faults, scratches and dents are part of what makes you uniquely perfect for the work you were sent here to do. Take care of yourself, sure, and take some pride in your appearance, your demeanor and your quality of life. But don't stand in front of the mirror telling yourself that your life will be better "when and if." The only way your life will get better is for you to show up in it, in whatever shape or form you bring along, and participate to the fullest in whatever life throws your way.

3. Treat yourself to a little lighthearted ranting and fuming when things get hot. Put up a dartboard with your worst problem in the center and throw darts, spit-wads and old gum at it until you can't see it anymore. Write nasty letters to those who annoy you and then throw them in the fire. Call up your best friend when you know he or she is not there and leave a brief warning message on the machine - then hang up, call back and rant into the phone until you wind down. Your friend will understand (hopefully) that you needed to vent and be relieved that they weren't put in a position to have to fix things - as well as flattered that you chose them as a shoulder to cry on.

4. People who only put out the best china, food and manners for guests are going about life the wrong way. Who is more important in your life than the ones you love (and the one they love - you)? Use the good china every day, regularly dine on quality "special occasion" food prepared with love and remember the simple courtesies of life that we often let fall by the wayside when lust and passion turn into contentment and comfort. Treating yourself and your family as if you really liked each other and consider each other more important than the rest of the world pays off big dividends in the long run, and makes everyday life so much more enjoyable.

5. Choose quality over quantity all day, every day. Don't buy fast food and instant meals because they're cheap and fast. High-quality food is more expensive, true, but then you're likely to eat less of it so that's not necessarily a bad thing. And with a little planning and forethought, preparing quality meals need not take much longer than the trip down to the fast-food joint. Get the expensive scent that you love, even if you have to settle for the small bottle or the scented bath powder. Buy a nice wine to go with dinner instead of a round of soft drinks. Life lived well, but in moderation beats the heck out of a life lived in wanton mediocrity any day of the week.

You only get so many years and so many chances and that doesn't change whether you enjoy it or not. You only get one turn of the wheel at a time - you might as well go for the brass ring.

Soni Pitts

Soni Pitts is a writer and personal life coach currently living in SE Missouri, US.

As a writer, Soni has two main goals. Her first goal is to use her innate copywriting abilities to rid the world of ambiguous, confusing and boring copy. Her second goal is to use her creative writing skills to make a living meeting cool people and doing cool things, then writing about it.

As a personal life coach, Soni works with people who have reached the point of epiphany (eg: "There's got to be more to life than this") rebuild sustainable lives and lifestyles that work for themselves and for the world around them.

She is also the Assistant Community Coach of the Social Capital and Networking Community of CoachVille, and volunteers on the board of her local Habitat for Humanity Affiliate.